When the Villain Feels Familiar

On the characters we're not supposed to relate to.

A silhouetted figure stands at a lit doorway in black and white, caught between darkness and light — opening and closing image for She The King's essay "When the Villain Feels Familiar," on the characters we're not supposed to relate to.

We know who to root for. Then a film complicates the equation.

We know who to root for. We know whose choices deserve redemption and whose deserve punishment. Then a film complicates the equation.

Every so often, a film gives us a character we're not supposed to root for—and something in their logic feels unsettlingly familiar. Not because we agree with what they do, but because somewhere in the wanting, we recognize something human.

That recognition is uncomfortable.

The Difference Between Understanding and Forgiving

Overlapping passport stamps and entry visas from Egypt, layered across a well-traveled page — paired with archival letters to illustrate identity and reinvention in She The King's essay "When the Villain Feels Familiar."

A record of who she kept becoming.

One of the most common misconceptions about complex villains is that understanding them means excusing them. The best films know otherwise.

In Anthony Minghella's The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999), Tom Ripley's actions grow increasingly disturbing, but the film carefully reveals the longing beneath them: a desire for belonging, status, intimacy, reinvention. The tragedy lies in how those desires become distorted. The audience isn't asked to approve. We're asked to recognize the humanity beneath the harm, and that distinction matters.

A compelling villain is rarely someone who exists outside human experience. More often, they reflect parts of it to us, exaggerated and made destructive.

The Accumulation of Small Choices

A curved line of ivory dominoes falling in sequence against a dark background — accompanying "The Accumulation of Small Choices," on Michael Corleone's gradual transformation in She The King's essay "When the Villain Feels Familiar.

Each choice looked reasonable, in isolation.

Some of cinema's most fascinating villains don't arise from a single catastrophic decision. They're shaped by accumulation—small, reasonable seeming choices that compound until the person who made them is unrecognizable, even to themselves.

Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather (1972) remains one of the clearest examples. Michael Corleone's transformation isn't presented as inevitable. It happens gradually, through decisions that each appear justified in isolation: protect the family, protect the business, protect what matters most. By the time he becomes the thing he once resisted, the audience can see exactly how he arrived there.

That gradual progression is the film's real power. It asks us to consider how easily people rationalize their own compromises, and how quickly morality can shift once loyalty, ambition, or fear enters the equation.

When the Villain Reflects Us Back

A woman's face seen through a shattered mirror, her hand touching the fractured glass, gaze steady rather than distressed. Accompanying "When the Villain Reflects Us Back" editorial essay.

No villain here to hold at arm's length.

Some films go further, refusing to create any moral distance between the audience and the character.

Emerald Fennell's Promising Young Woman (2020) refuses that comfort outright. Rather than presenting villainy as the work of a singular antagonist, it spreads responsibility across a culture of complicity—the quiet ways people excuse, minimize, or ignore harm. The film is less interested in offering comfort than in exposing the need for it, repeatedly forcing viewers to question their own assumptions about justice, accountability, and revenge.

The Uncomfortable Recognition

Most compelling villains aren't the ones who convince us we'd make the same choices. They're the ones who expose emotions we already recognize: jealousy, loneliness, resentment, ambition, the fear of being overlooked.

The films that stay with us understand that villainy rarely begins with evil. More often, it begins with ordinary emotions left unchecked, distorted by circumstance, desire, or fear. That is what makes these characters so difficult to dismiss. They force us to confront emotions we'd rather believe belong to someone else. They remind us that the line between hero and villain isn't always drawn between people.

Sometimes it runs straight through one.

 

Further Reading: On Recognizing What We'd Rather Not

These pieces follow the same idea in different forms—that discomfort is often the price of being honestly seen, or of seeing something honestly.

→ Why We Cry at Fiction We Know Isn't Real: On why the same story can find one person in tears and leave another completely untouched.

→ What Queer Cinema Reveals About Fear, Intimacy, and Vulnerability: On the emotional cost of visibility in stories shaped by fear and survival.

→ Why Women Are So Good at Hiding It: On the feelings that go quiet not because they've resolved, but because there's nowhere for them to land.


She The King

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